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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

I'm your number one fan

He Who Only... made two very best friends this holiday.

The first one was our hire car, who is called Mister Connor O'Samuels. This is because the hire car we got to bring us to ATP a few months ago was called Mister Samuels, and this was his Irish cousin. If you have lived with He Who Only... for two and a half years, you, like me, will have learned not to question these things.

This is He Who Only... and Mister Connor O'Samuels having a manly hug at the top of a very scenic roadway. If you look over Mister Connor O'Samuels' right shoulder, you'll be able to catch a glimpse of Clifden.

The other New Best Friend Forever He Who Only... made on our holiday is Mister Bobby. Bobby, regular readers will know, is the dog that me and my Mum adopted a couple of months before I gave up my life in Ireland to annoy and irritate He Who Only... full time by living in London. I named this small-headed dog, and loved him as though he were my own hairy son. This small-headed dog has paid me back by, merely two and half years later, preferring my boyfriend to me:

He simply never left He Who Only...'s side for the duration of the time we were there. At one stage, we met up with a very large, very square, very male and very stupid labrador called Max, who was about seven times the size of Bobby and very nearly the same size as me, and Bobby still stood between him and He Who Only... and would not let the two of them get anywhere near each other. During the ten minutes or so when Max and Bobby were in the same location as each other, Bobby even went so far as to lunge for Max's jugular. Thankfully, Max was too gleeful and stupid to notice that Bobby, the tiny, tiny dog in the periphery of his vision, was attempting actual physical bodily harm on him because, if he'd wanted to, Max could have squashed him like the tiny-headed dog Bobby is. But that's the love that Bobby developed for He Who Only... in the time they spent together. He would give up his life for him, absolutely and immediately and without question or a moment's hesitation.

Look at them together. Honestly. It just seems wrong that they're not together all the time.


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