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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Go on, go on, go on

Last week, during my recuperation, we decided a good thing would be to place ourselves into the hands of some people who know how to cope with difficult situations. We needed some people who had the experience and the knowledge, not mention the actual Know How, to deal with anything that might have raised its head during this stressful time of our lives. We also needed people who would advise us as to health bedtimes, restful evening periods and the value of square meals and taking off our shoes while inside to the house so as to spare the carpets – in short, dear readers, we needed someone’s PARENTS.

Since my parents are cruel enough to be located in a different country to me, it was down to He Who Only…’s to step into that breach and do the job of clutching me to their collective bosom and metaphorically healing my shattered wounds. Did they do the job? By jiminy, they did, and then some.

Me, HWO... and HWO...'s mum enjoy our 5th cup of tea of the day

Firstly, the thing I’m now getting used to is the fact that The English Solve All Of Their Problems Through Drinking Tea. Don’t feel well? Have a cup of tea. Bit tired and emotional? Have a cup of tea. Been made redundant? Have a cup of tea. Your wife just left you, and then came back to you, but then died? Have a cup of tea. We had many cups of tea that weekend, so of which I even got down to the bottom of before the next round of tea was poured. But only some. I’m a slow tea drinker. I can’t be held responsible for that. I’m Irish, after all.

We also took the time to gad about some local ruins, staring at the one remaining wall of the grand castle that used to stand in Newark, where He Who Only… went to school. [Interesting aside: Newark is the only English town which is an anagram of “wanker”. I’m ever so pleased to know that.]

It’s so strange that you spend the last ten years of your childhood battling against the influence of the adults in your life, and then the next 30 years desperately trying to re-acquire the comfort and reassurance that comes from being in the presence of grown ups, and knowing that someone is taking charge of the situation. I don’t know about you, but I find that the feeling that everything is going to be okay is unshakeable when someone’s parents are in the same room.


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