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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

My Worldly Possessions

Having had the last three days to recover at home, I've come to see what's most important in life. It's this kind of thing that helps to put things into perspective: an accident of this nature, a near-death experience, if you wish, can really help to clarify things. What I've come to realise over these last three days, when left on my own in the peace and traffic noise of the Nest'O'Love, is that possessions are incredibly important. Incredibly important.

We've been in the Nest'O'Love for over a year and a half now, and in that time we've seen every single other flat in this block be moved in and out of at least twice over. What I'm constantly wondering is why everyone else seems to move away while we stay here, and we've come to the conclusion that (a) everyone else is rubbish and (b) we've got the best flat in the building. The one thing I know for certain is that it'll take a great deal of upheaval to get me to move out of here now that we've been here for so long. For one thing, I've never been allowed to be entirely in charge of the decoration of a flat ever ever ever. Oh, I love living with He Who Only... for many different reasons, but one of the big bonuses is that he pretends he has absolutely no opinion about interior decoration and lets me get away with sticking any old shit I've bought off eBay up on the wall. His default response to anything that suddenly arrives on our walls is "Oh, that's very pretty. Like you". I think you'll all agree he's a master at this.

This is one of the best things in our flat. It's a giant poster from eBay, which (although you can't really tell from this photo) takes up almost the whole wall over our bed. When my brother saw it, he was moved to respond "Very good, Shar", which is the highest praise possible from my brother.

My new favourite thing are these Banksy templates, which I bought off of eBay for very little money indeed. They can be used as actual, real-life, street-culture graffiti templates, all the better to show Mr Gordon Brown how little respec' you have for him and his homies. I prefer to use them to decorate my front room. I'm so terribly urban.

My ridiculous collection of shadow photos also now runs all the way from the ceiling to the floor of our hallway, and I'm going to have to find another alcove in which to continue the series. They're all of me and He Who Only..., taken over the last three years and I think it says a lot about how patient he is.


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