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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

We were sitting in the local pub, enjoying the lovely lovely lovely Guinness(R) available and considering dying of our colds, when two of my sisters' friends came in. That's the joy and curse of continually returning to the place where you grew up for visits - you'll never go too far without bumping into someone you know, but you'll never be entirely sure where you know them from, and if enough time has passed, you won't be sure if you're supposed to like or despise them.

However, these two lovely boys I know of old, and I was sure that I should greet them with the joy and celebration that their standing as wonderful gay men deserve - at two separate times, I was engaged to be married to one or other of them, if we should have found ourselves abandoned and alone on our 40th birthdays. They have since then broken off our long standing engagement on the grounds that they prefer to play with other gentlemen of similar outlooks, and I don't have a working winky.

Anyhoo, the entire point of this story is that I had last seen one of them over three years earlier. long before I had moved to London, and long before my current run of good health. In the time since I have lost weight, I've had many reactions from people who hadn't seen me for a while, but this person's was absolutely the best response I've had for a long time.

He came into the pub, looked directly at me, looked away, turned to his friend for confirmation that he was indeed looking at his friend's older sister, turned around again, came over to me with arms held wide out, gave me a huge hug, then pushed me back to arm's length, both of his hands on my shoulders, gave me another once over and yelled in the loudest, campest voice available to him, "Fuck me, have you had dysentery?"

Lovely boys.

And to end, another picture of me and baby, just because. (I took this one, holding the camera out in front of us. It was a marginal success, at best.)


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