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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

That’s it, people. You asked for it.

It’s… the boring round up of things that people have searched for and instead come upon my website and been very disappointed!!

There have been a LOT of searches for Derren Brown. A really surprising lot of searches. I had no idea other people lurved him and wanted to touch him inappropriately as much as I do. Searches for Derren Brown in just the last week included:

derren brown “first crush”
derren brown “tear around”
Derren Brown nail noise
Derren brown daily mail

I really like “derren brown tear around”. That might be the name of my next band.

Other than that… it’s been really disappointing this month. Loads of people searching for “dreadful”, “terrible”, “blogger”, “spencer brown”, “charlie brooker”, “teenage kicks” and someone called “Alexis Constantinou”. Appallingly, a lot of searches for my full, real life name. I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve that.

But the most intriguing is the search for “shazzle cheese”. I’ve made my own investigations. And they have not helped in the slightest. The only thing I’ve uncovered is that I’ve blogged about cheese in the past a lot more than I was previously aware.

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