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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

But seriously folks, I do honestly mean it when I swear that I will try to blog more this year. The past six months have been tremendous, and I've barely had time to record them here. It's ridiculous, setting up another rod with which to beat myself, but I love being able to look back to dates over the past six years - six years of blogging, that's ridiculous - and see what I was up to and when.

For example, on this date in 2002, I was proudly recording the fact that, thanks to my immense pain, I had just achieved a life long ambition and received my first prescription for valium.

In 2003, I was also lying flat on my back staring at the cieling and cursing my fate, thanks to my back problem.

In 2004, my surgeon told me, and I'm quoting from my original post - "Don't lie down! Stand up! Walk! Swim! - but don't jump. No jumping or running, because your back might fall off. Have a large needle right in the spine!"

You see? The wonderful nature of blogging means that I can now draw a direct corrolation between celebrating a new year and being in immense agony.

Weirdly, I can now also look back and see that, from the time I started dating (or, as we like to put it, "fucking") He Who Only..., my back problem suddenly didn't seem to be so important or time consuming. I can only assume that there is some kind of direct connection between these two facts. Hoorah for blogger. He Who Only... should obviously be available to everyone with prolapsed disc on direct prescription from the NHS. Apparently, that's what cured me. His healing "hands".

I've now decided to amend my New Years Resolution, and have come up with this one instead:

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Learn the alphabet.

He Who Only...'s resolution is:

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Cause more road rage.


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