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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Some email correspondence, entitled: "The Reason Why All Of My Hair Has Fallen Out With Stress" or "How Not To Run A Business"


EMAIL NUMBER 1:
18/12/2006 13:15:55
From: customersupport@iwantoneofthose.com.
To: Shazzle

Dear Shazzle:
Thank you for shopping at www.iwantoneofthose.com.

Here is a summary of your order:
Order Received at: 2006-12-18 13:15:46.0
Bill To
xxxx
Ship To
xxxx
You will receive a second email confirming your order within 24 hours and, as soon as your order is despatched, you will receive notification via email.
If you have any questions, please email us at customersupport@iwantoneofthose.com.
If you are ordering from the USA please contact us at customersupportUSA@iwantoneofthose.com
Thank you for shopping at www.iwantoneofthose.com



EMAIL NUMBER 2:
19/12/2006 14:54:11
From: Shazzle
To: customersupport@iwantoneofthose.com.

I have not received a second email in relation to this order, and have not received confirmation of dispatchment. Can you please let me know as soon as possible if this order is being dispatched today, as I have paid for the next day service. If possible, can you let me know when the order will be delivered.

My contact number is xxxxxxxxx, or xxxxxxxx.

Thanks



EMAIL NUMBER 3:
19/12/2006 15:39:55:
From: Shazzle
To: customersupport@iwantoneofthose.com.

I placed the order below yesterday lunchtime, and chose the "next day delivery" option. This order comes to approximately £xxx, and contains all of my Christmas presents for friends and family.

On ringing your customer support services today, and holding the line for a full 12 minutes before being answered, I was told that this order has not been received, and therefore will not be delivered. Further, I was told that there is absolutely no record of my order - despite the acknowledgement I received below.

Can you please reassure me that if I replace the order this evening, it will still be delivered on Thursday? Obviously if I can't rely on this service I will have to go elsewhere to get my Christmas presents.

I am very upset by this loss of order, as I have used your service regularly in the past without any problems. I appreciate that Christmas is a busy period for you, but it is obviously very distressing when orders are lost.

I look forward to hearing further from you.

Yours sincerely

Shazzle

For your information, my postcode is xxxxxx.



EMAIL NUMBER 4:
20/12/2006 11:20:50:

From: Shazzle
To: customersupport@iwantoneofthose.com.

I refer to the order below, which is order number xxxxx.

This order was placed on 18 December 2006 at 13.15. I ordered the next day delivery service, however, my delivery did not arrive.

Despite speaking to your customer services yesterday, and sending you two emails already in relation to this order, I have still not received a full response as to what has happened to this order.

Could you please respond to my urgent enquiry as soon as possible.

Thanks,




EMAIL NUMBER 5:
21/12/2006 12:59:52
From: customersupport@iwantoneofthose.com.
To: Shazzle

This is your Email Customer Invoice

Dear Ms xxxxxxxxx,

Thank you again for your order, which is now ready for despatch (sic)!
Details of your order are below, however, please feel free to
contact us (details below) if you need any further information.

Order Taken By: xxxxxxxxxx
Invoice Date.: 21/12/2006
Customer No.: xxxxxxxxxx
Order No.: xxxxxxxxxxx
Invoice No.: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Shipper Consignment No.: xxxxxxxxx
Shipped By: Parceline Guaranteed Next-Day (Monday to Friday
Delivery)

If your order was despatched (sic) by Parceline, track it here:
http://www.parceline.com
If you do not receive your order within the time specified above, please call us
on 0870 241 1066.
FOR ORDERS DESPATCHED BY ROYAL MAIL STANDARD, PLEASE ALLOW 5 WORKING DAYS (10 WORKING DAYS FOR ROYAL MAIL INTERNATIONAL) BEFORE CONTACTING US.
To see our full terms and conditions, please click here:
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/terms.do



EMAIL NUMBER 6:
21/12/2006 14:51:18:

From: Shazzle
To: customersupport@iwantoneofthose.com.

Customer No.: xxxxxxxx
Order No.: xxxxxxxxxx

I attach to this email three previous emails that I have sent to your company, all of which have remained unanswered, and the one email I received today.

I am utterly appalled as to the service I have received from you.

In brief: I placed this order on Tuesday for next day delivery.
On Wednesday I called to track my order, and was told that my order did not exist. I was advised to re-order everything.
On Wednesday evening, I bought different presents for my friends and family.
Today, I am now told that my original order has been dispatched.

On contacting your customer services, my partner was told that the order "might" be delivered tomorrow, however, this could not be guaranteed. I have been informed that if it does not come tomorrow, it won't arrive until "after Christmas".

Obviously, when I paid for the next day delivery, I expected my order to arrive on Wednesday, and not "after Christmas". If the orders arrive "after Christmas" they are entirely useless to me, as they are Christmas presents.

Could somebody please contact me as soon as possible in order to let me know what exactly is happening with this order. I am very distressed by what has happened with this order, and the fact that it now appears I will be charged for presents that I no longer desire, and also charged for the next day delivery service, when my items will in fact not even be delivered within the next week.

I look forward to speaking to someone.

Yours sincerely

Shazzle
Ph. xxxxxxxxxxx

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