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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

One of my two favourite sisters was over for the weekend, and we had a delightful time. Seriously, peeps, I had a blast just hanging out with my new BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE, most of whose names I have already forgotten. Such is the cheapness of my affection.

We did a number of things, and those numbers of things were:
(1) Walked about
(2) Went up Ally Pally
(3) Sat in the grass

(4) Read some newspapers
(5) Went to a pub
(6) Went out for dinner
(7) Came home and went to sleep
(8) Got up and went to the shops
(9) Went to a photography exhibition
(10) Had lunch in a gay cafe
(11) Looked at hard core gay porn

Some of my new friends


(12) Went shopping
(13) Went to a wine bar

One of my new best friends forever introduced me to the best way to walk up and down Oxford Street on a sunny day on a summer weekend. The key is to walk with your head up, looking about 5cm above everybody's head, and walk with a sense of purpose and unwavering belief that you won't crash into everyone. It is absolutely astonishing, and it works an absolute treat. For the first few paces you need to get into your stride and that's the most dangerous moment - if you let your eyes drift down even for a second and catch someone's eye, you'll end up swerving about and wrapping yourself in knots around some Japanese tourists. But if you keep your head high and adopt a stride I can only describe as the walk of a 24 year old gay man who knows he is as pretty as he feels.

I loved it. I love hanging about with someone who doesn't live in London, because you end up looking around at everything in a new light. Little Sister Louise has the same fascination/fear relationship with the Tube, and with travelling around London in general, as I always used to, and I had forgotten how much I loved/loathed the whole transport network. I love having these reminders about how strange and wonderful this city can be, and I love having a guest around to entertain. More visitors, please.

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