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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

MOTHER FUCKERS!

I'm going to Dublin today, and then to Galway on Sunday. I've been lying on the floor screaming and generally carrying on for the last week, due to my back SPAZZING OFF BIG STYLE. I was given some FANTASTIC DRUGS that unfortunately made me want to VOMIT MY FEET OUT THROUGH MY HEAD and then KILL MYSELF WITH THE CRYING. So I stopped taking those drugs and instead have to be a brave little soldier, because the doctor informed me that I'm obviously "one of those people" who is allergic to all known painkillers. And heroin! It's good to know.

ANYWAY. We've just finished packing, I've just finished hobbling around the room clutching my back and I'm about to take a MASSIVE DOSE of valium in order to get me from my flat to the train to the airport to the plane to Dublin.

Oh Holy Lord Help Me.

See y'all in a week.

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