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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

I’m so aware that the site needs a general update and overhaul, but the problem is that we still don’t have any kind of internet access (or telephone landline, or anything television related other than the bland terrestrial output) in our Flat’O’Love, so for the moment I can only blog while sitting at my desk at lunchtimes at work. This is dispiriting for two reasons:

(1) because just as I’m getting into what I’m doing, it’s 2pm and I have to get back to work and
(2) if I do this, I don’t get to leave the office all day, or see daylight.

Therefore, the blogging is falling on the wayside a little bit due to me finding more important things to do, like shopping, enjoying some personal freedom, and or simply leaving the building before I kill someone - possibly myself - with my bare, shaking hands.

For this, I apologise. I can only hope that some day soon, and hopefully some day within the next couple of weeks soon, we will get some internet and I can get back to blogging in the comfort of my own Flat’O’Love and catch up on all the porn I’ve been missing out on for the last two months.

In the meantime, let me introduce a photograph that will soon be appearing on my updated Pets Page.

This is Dudley. Dudley belongs to my Big Brother, Derek. Bigbrotherderek, I have been assured by littlesisteredel, is a regular reader of this blog, but I think littlesisteredel is lying because she wants some attention from me, but is too afraid to ask directly for it.

[On a sidenote, I’d like it marked in the diary that, when leaving London at the weekend, littlesisteredel allowed me to give her a hug. That’s me, hugging littlesisteredel without being battered and bruised as a result, on 5 February 2006. Mark that in your diaries, please. It’s an important occasion.]

Dudley is a jack russell dog disguised as a wolf. He has the ears of a wolf, the tail of a wolf, most of the body of a wolf and some (but by no means all) of the legs of a wolf. Dudley knows how to open the backdoor in Bigbrotherderek’s house, but can’t quite get the leverage yet, because he’s still growing. Dudley holds the title for Simply The Most Adorable Puppy What Ever Lived because the first time I saw him I couldn’t help but pick him up and shower him with baby kisses every time he was within grabbing distance, which probably scarred him for life. Dudley has already been run over by a car once, not through poor pet-keeping, as Bigbrotherderek cannot and should not be faulted as a dog owner, but because Dudley is a fearless idiot who doesn’t realise that anything bigger than him will hurt him, and refuses to take heed of any lessons dealt to him by the cruel hand of fate. Dudley is named after Dudley Moore.

That is Dudley. Thank you very much for your kind attentions.


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