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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Thanks for all your questions. You're absolutely right in thinking that my friend sounds like a brilliant, talented and downright great person to be around. You're also all absolutely right that she's the kind of person that would cross the road to pet a dog, and in fact goes quite high pitched in their very company. And yes, again, it's uncanny how right you are in thinking that she's prone to celebrating her own birthday once a year.

Speaking of birthdays, it's my birthday in but two days! Yes! Look at that! How quickly time flies between one reason to buy me a present and the next reason to buy me a present. I've already bought my present to myself, the magnificent digital camera bought with the very specific purpose of posting up photographs on this here blog, but of course my internet connection at home has decided to go do-lally over the last few days and my photographs have been languishing on Eggers, waiting to be posted to a wider audience. As soon as the connection comes back, there'll be all sorts of sights for you to see.

So to celebrate my birthday, I've decided what I'll do is show complete strangers the inside of my bedroom. Now, in a previous life the inside of my bedroom did certainly see a lot of stranger action, with all sorts of callers trooping in and out any time of the day or night. Sadly Thankfully those days are behind me, as I have a steady gentleman caller all of my own, and no need for that sort of behaviour no more. Nowadays, in order to entice strangers toward my inner chambers, I must instead put advertisements on websites.

And so it is that on Saturday I shall be showing at least six strangers my bedroom, in order that they may judge whether or not it is up to their own standards. As blinking usual, I'm moving house, and so need to replace myself in the hearts of my housemates with a worthy successor. So far today they've pretty much been a constant parade of mentals, but one or two sparkling gems have emerged. The constant refrain of my birthday morning will therefore be "... and down here is the kitchen", but that's okay - the sooner my room is filled, the sooner I get some money back in order to start adding it to the massive debt mountain myself and He Who Only... are happily building for ourselves, all the better to laugh and point at and then hide away from under the safety of a booze blanket.


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