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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Another moaning post, so close to the last one, but these things need to be addressed, and since at the time I wasn't able to say anything (other than under my breath), if I don't blog it, I shall burst, I really shall.

I know everyone has the same experience at music gigs, and I know that everyone feels that their nights are slightly marred by this experience, and I think at this point I may have found a solution. The problem: people talking, loudly and in groups, during EVERY SINGLE SONG. The solution: shooting them through the head segregating the audience.

I propose that two sections are allocated in every music venue. Audience members are allowed to choose which section they want to stand in. One section - up the front, near the stage will be the section in which people are interested in the music being played on stage, where people will be attentive and enthusiastic, and face the right way, and know what fucking gig they're attending. The other section - down the back, near the bar, will be section in which people don't give a blind shit about the people standing near them, where they can talk about how many albums they own and how many times they've seen Oasis live, and aren't annoying the living Christ out of those of us TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE NICE MAN SING.

Last night, we went to see Tom McRae, and he was his long-haired miserable, fantastic self, if a little less chatty than he usually is. Unfortunately the audience were a lot more chatty than they usually are. One of the girls beside us declared, once every three songs that "Oh, this one is my favourite!", and then talked loudly the whole way through it. During a particularly miserable song (although most of Tom McRae's fall in to the category) someone on the balcony upstairs actually asked this group of girls to shut up. Those around us were limited to the turning around and staring significantly at them, but at one point I was moved to mutter "shut the fuck up" during a quiet moment, and I do hope they heard, even if they did mainly ignore it.

I can cope with smoking around me, I've gotten used to that again. I can cope with over enthusiastic shouting in between songs (one guy behind us shouted after every single song, the whole way through the night "Play it again! Play it again!" and someone else kept requesting Teenage Kicks). I can even cope with people singing off tune along with the songs, but Jesus Fuck, would you please STOP TALKING DURING GIGS. It's only about two hours out of your life. You can talk before and after the gig. Why the fuck can't music gigs be treated the same as the cinema? You wouldn't dream of yelling the whole way through a film, would you?


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