<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d3200994\x26blogName\x3dDreadful+Nonsense\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://shazzle.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_GB\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://shazzle.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-9128930095448289160', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Yes, okay, so Ireland lost, it was Keane vs France, why was Given asleep when we needed him the most, blah blah blah – the important thing to focus on about last night was the fact that I DRANK WHISKY. Whisky, as you’ll well know, is saved only for special, specific occasions. These occasions are: Christmas. And: funerals. Drinking whisky outside either of these occasions is confusing to the mind, body and taste buds. Every drop I drank, my brain immediately responded with WHERE’S SANTA? And WHERE’S THE DEAD GUY?

Last night, then, was fun. What I discovered, or rather what came flooding back to me as I downed my third whisky-and-diet-coke was the fact that I can’t get drunk on whisky. Never have been able to. Regardless of the amount chugged down, under whatever circumstances, with or without a mixer, whisky has almost no effect on my sobriety. Which, as you’ll all appreciate, makes it a totally worthless alcoholic drink.

And so my experiment must continue. Taking the advice of Little Sister Edel and Mrs Bishop to heart, tomorrow night I shall be drinking naught but gin and some tonic.


Post a Comment