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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Walking home from work last night, I've never seen so many couples in one place before in my life. Seriously, people who are probably barely speaking for the rest of the year seem to find it obligatory to go outside in to the public arena and walking around SLOWLY holding hands and gazing up at each other on Valentines Day. Girls carrying single red roses, and boys with their hands in lady's back pockets (that's not a euphemism, by the way. Dirty). I think I may well have been the only person walking unattended through Temple Bar, the only one not paired up and by God those people annoyed me. What's with the need for PDAs? Public displays of affection are tasteless and tactless and inappropriate and frankly disgusting. If you feel affection for someone, and want to show it to them, do it behind closed, locked and bolted doors. There's no need to go parading your shame around town. No one needs to see kissing or hand holding or hugging or cuddling or any other kind of show of love. It's just bad taste.

We always agreed, as (admittedly very young) teenagers, that PDAs were vile and wrong, and that we'd never indulge. Of course, I remember saying the same thing about (1) smoking, (2) swearing, (3) drinking and (4) pre-marital sex. Shit, that catholic schooling really had the intended effect on me, for sure and no doubt about it. But of that Top Five Things I'll Never Do, I still feel the same way about PDAs. You like someone, fine. Write them a poem or something. No need to dribble all over them in public, is all. Get a tattoo and show it to them in secret. Don't go groping each other's each other every which way.

(Of course, I am the world's biggest hypocrite. But what I and my boyfriend do is different, because... um... Just because. Shut up. You're just jealous.)


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