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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Things I didn't say today, that I really truly wanted to:

1. To the girl in the green jacket -
"Just because you're on the phone doesn't mean you need to stop dead in the middle of the street. It's a MOBILE phone. You can continue to be MOBILE. Get out of my fucking way."

2. To the girl in the long white coat -
"Even though you've managed to successfully cross the road, there are still some other people crossing behind you. So stopping right on the edge of the path so that we all have to pile up on top of each other to get past is very inconsiderate. Get out of my fucking way."

3. To the bloke getting on the bus with the oddly cut black hair -
"We've all been stood here for the last five minutes in the freezing cold. You only just turned up. Why do you think you deserve to get on the bus first? And for fuck's sake, if you're going to skip the queue, you can at least have the right change ready instead of holding up the whole fucking queue. Get out of my fucking way."

4. To the girl in the queue at the bank link on Grafton Street -
"I can see you staring at me in the reflection of the window. What the fuck are you looking at? Get out of my fucking way."

5. To everyone in Temple Bar, both before and after work -
"Get out of my fucking way."

My internal dialogue is very sweary.


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