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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Ladies, Gents, Moo, I’ve decided it’s time for a quick update for the profiles section of the site. Thing is, though, I’ve been attempting to be discrete for the past few months in relation to certain developments in certain areas of my social and personal affairs. And that’s been one large block in relation to blogging. It’s so difficult to write about when you’re having a gloriously great time, because you’re afraid that by documenting it you’ll ruin the magic, burst the bubble, break the spell. Equally, when you’ve had a massive falling out with someone, it’s difficult to write about that too, because some time down the road y’all might have the chance to make up again, and then where would you be had you written a long spiel about how stinky that person is, and what a cad they can be, and how cruel they are to puppies and small children, and what exactly their criminal record consists of.

So the most interesting times in your life, the times when you’ve got the most to say and want to tell everyone all about it, those are the very times that it’s best to keep schtum and write about scenery and incidentals and new pets and to take photographs of shadows, because otherwise you’re opening yourself up to all sorts of heck and shenanigans.

Same thing goes for writing short and even obviously stupid profiles of people for your website. Some people want their sites linked, some don't. Some want their names used, some don't ever want to be mentioned ever. Some beg for their pets to become involved. It's complicated.

I think I may have come up with a short cut around these bothers though – I’m going to let other people write their profiles themselves, so as to never incriminate myself. It’s a crazy thought, but someone’s got to be crazy round here, and it might as well be me. So, I’ll be sending out invites tonight via the internerd to those already profiled in the "About Me" section, and they must get back to me within three days or I’ll write hideously inaccurate things about them. Consider yourselves warned.

If you’d like to submit your information here, I’d be gratefully pleased to include you in the "About Me" section, purely because it would amuse me to associate with you wonderful people who entertain me endlessly with your comments and (quite recently) links to pornographic sites. Just email dreadful.nonsense@gmail.com, including a link to your site if you’re lucky enough to have one, and if you like you can also include a photograph or image that you feel best reflects your inner essence.

Get to work.

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