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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

I do welcome feedback in relation to this site from friends and family, but more importantly from the good reading public - it is you good people that put me where I am today (sitting, very tired, on a Tuesday night writing back dated entries for my own amusement) and it is you people that will ensure I continue to traverse the fine line between mediocrity and complete anonymity. And I thank you for it.

Regular reader Moo has been persistently telling me recently that there is but one thing missing from my site, and that one thing is that "there's not enough about Charlie Bear". And she's absolutely right. There isn't enough about Charlie Bear, Moo's beautiful rescue dog, on my site, so on Sunday we decided to try and amend that mistake by bringing Charlie Bear for a walk up some mountains, and by taking photographs of whatever adventure happened while we were up there. When you're with Charlie Bear, everything is an adventure.

Unfortunately, due to the amount of alcohol (lots) and the amount of sleep (none) I'd had over the previous two days, taking photographs was almost entirely beyond me. It was as much as I could do not to fall over every three seconds, so thankfully I did have He Who Only... to cling on to for dear life and warmth. Instead, I passed the Taking Photographs Of Charlie Bear responsibility to Little Sister Louise, who holds a degree - A DEGREE - in photography.

These are the only two photos that feature Charlie Bear:

This action shot features massive Charlie Bear in heavy pursuit of tiny Bobby. You can't quite tell from this photo, but when Charlie Bear is standing beside a normal person, Charlie is slightly bigger than that person. Charlie Bear (or Charles T Bear, to give him his full and frankly correct title) is larger than a normal Labrador. He's roughly the size of a bear, and has all the stealth and dignity of a bear who has been handed several shots of tequila and has been too polite to refuse. Charlie is brilliant. Just after this photograph was taken, he drooled all over Little Sister Louise's coat sleeve and hand, and it was all she could do not to screach in disgust while Moo wiped it off with a caring tissue. I stood and laughed, and then nearly fell over again due to not watching where I was going.

This shot is Where's Wally, but with dogs. Left to Right features: Charlie, just in shot, creeping out of some buses just in time to attack Mr Moo. Next is Bobby, learning from Charlie's example, and attempting to attack Mr Moo. (Mr Moo probably wouldn't notice though - Bobby isn't quite the attack dog he thinks he is. It's more of a tickle than an attack at the best of times.) Next is Mr Moo himself, looking slightly like he's about to kick Kesh clean up the road. He's not about to do that though. What happens after this is Charlie comes rushing out of the bushes and generally dances about looking happy. Because that is Charlie Bear.

[This entry has been sponsored by the Charlie Bear Fan Club. I promise, Moo, next time I'm round your's I'll make more of an effort with the camera. Mmkay?]


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