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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Thursday. The best day of the week that isn't Friday, Saturday or Sunday. That must mean that it's about time to say it's time to say hello to the second cat of the house - and these pets are NOT being listed in order of preference... Today, let's all give a welcoming wave to:

SMUDGE

I only realised when I got these photos back that I'd only got two pictures of Smudge, and that they're both more or less identical. So don't get the impression that Smudge is either (a) always asleep or (b) stuffed and moved around the house for our amusement, because neither of these things are true. Really. Smudge is not stuffed. She is the skinniest cat in the world. When you pick her up, you can't feel that you're carrying anything at all in your arms, and when she sits on your knee, you can't feel any pressure, only purring. She is basically the polar opposite of Anarchy.

Smudge spends a lot of time lying in the same room that I'm in. This is not because she's particularly attached to me. This is just because I'm the lady that feeds her, and she likes to be fed, and when I'm not in the kitchen, she likes to know where I am, because I might be heading to the kitchen some time soon, and that would mean that she could be fed. So this is her lying underneath the computer. She had been lying at my feet, ever ready to jump up if I left the room and went to the kitchen, but she's old so she fell asleep for long enough to let me take this photo.


This is Smudge lying on my bed. She usually lies under the covers of my bed, which leads to great excitement when visitors come in and go to sit on the bed, and the duvet starts moving and it frightens them. The other thing she does a lot in my bedroom is sit on the windowsill, staring at the birds in the trees outside the window, occasionally chirruping in a disturbing manner. And she also throws up quite often. Usually on the windowsill, but occasionally on the carpet and sometimes on the duvet (that usually only happens when I come home drunk and am unable to cope with clearing up cat sick from my duvet).

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