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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Lord almighty. I seem to spend more time hungover and mopey than anything else in the world. Must learn to stop drinking at the point where I think "I should probably stop drinking now", rather than breaking on through that barrier and carrying on until after the last night link has left town.

I'm not well again today. This has not been helped by the fact that our cat Smudge has got an eye infection, and keeps rubbing her face up against me. I had to go get tissues and rub the gunk out of her weeping eye and I don't know about you but I'm ready to B-A-R-F at any moment now.

But I have made an important decision this morning, and I'd like you all to try help me in any way you can. Send kind thoughts and money in my direction when I announce the fact that:

I'm giving up smoking. Again.

Seriously. I have to stop this right now, because going from not-smoking, to social-smoking, to I-have-a-packet-of-cigarettes-in-my-bedroom, to lighting-up-on-the-way-to-the-bus is really not good. This is the pattern it always takes, and so I'm stopping dead right here and right now, because I'm sure it's adding ten fold to the hangovers I'm getting these days.

So the new rules are:
Don't let me smoke. Ever.

There are two strict exceptions to this rule:
1. I'm allowed smoke if I'm in excruciating pain and can't walk. But only one cigarette.
2. I'm allowed smoke if a boy has made me cry. Not a girl. A boy. Again, only one cigarette.

Thanks.

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