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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

It's Monday! It's the week you've all been waiting for! It's time for:

SHAZZLE GOES ON ABOUT HER PETS FOR THAT LITTLE BIT TOO LONG (NOW WITH ADDED PHOTOS!)
Yes, I've been at home for a while now, and I've noticed how many pets we have. We have, it has to be admitted, a lot of pets. I thought I'd write about them for this week, seeing as how we're avoiding mentioning a lot of other things. Plus, it's fun to write about animals!

Today, we are proud to introduce: My Beautiful Dog Honey.

Honey is approximately 10 years old, although could in reality be anything from 8 to 12. She's a rescue dog, and was found wandering the mean streets of Cellbridge looking properly miserable (as does everyone in Cellbridge). She's got a completely dislocated hip on her back leg, which can't be repaired as it's been broken for too long, and terrible muscle wastage. She is also the fattest dog we've ever owned, thanks partially to her inability to walk for long, if at all, and thanks otherwise to the fact that she's a giant greedy guts who would anything in the world ever. Honest. We've experimented.




This is her lying on her bed in the room currently known as the dog house, since the dogs have completely taken over. She has a sock under her leg, thanks to Butler, who you will all meet in pictorial form tomorrow. The expression she wears on her face is the one she always has when she's been woken up (and coincidentally the same one I adopt first thing in the morning). When in this position, she loves nothing more than to have her tummy rubbed.


This is my beautiful dog Honey sitting at the back gate, trying to avoid the constant eye of the camera. Chances are she's staring at the cat: she spends a lot of time staring at the cat. She still can't quite believe, even after over a year in our house, that she's living in a house that allows cats to carry on living. Every now and again she forgets that (1) she's not allowed to kill cats and (2) she's not able to kill cats and she goes completely apoplectic with rage when a cat enters the room. It's amusing and entertaining in equal measure, although obviously not for the cat.




This is a very rare picture of my beautiful dog Honey in that she's both standing up and in the midst of barking. Being quite considerably old and having been neglected for quite a lot of her life, she's not particularly territorial, plus she's gone completely deaf in one ear thanks to a simple ear infection that was never treated by her previous evil owners who should be shot without trial. When the doorbell rings, she usually doesn't notice. When someone comes in to the room and she's not looking at the door, she usually only knows through vibrations on the floor. It's therefore very easy to sneak up behind her.

This entry was posted on 18 October 2004 at 5:13 pm. 0 comments

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