Dreadful Nonsense

I got my mobile phone bill today. I get it on a monthly basis. It's a curse that we ladies have to endure. And it's getting more painful by the day.

Last month's bill, we'll all remember fondly, was up and over the ?350 mark, mainly because I was overseas during August, and so the charges were far higher, and I was drunk more and using my phone a lot more than I should have done, and because August isn't real and doesn't exist, I thought I would wake up as if from a dream in September and there'd be no repercussions. It didn't work out that way though.

But I parted with the money, tried to think no more of it, and carried on in my usual carefree manner, skipping through meadows, feeding orphaned children, and restoring poorly kittens back to full health. And then today the new phone bill arrived.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. I was shocked, you see. Shocked, stunned and more than slightly appalled. But through the tears of shock and shame, I did notice that all the calls for the month of August seemed to be redisplayed, as if to mock me. And then I did notice that I was being charged for them. Ah-ha, I thought to myself, mopping up my tears and smiling weakly, there might be something to this. I'm going to call my phone company.

So I called my phone company, and enquired in a small and wavering voice whether or not it was possible that I was being charged for something I'd already paid. The lovely lady at the other end of the phone said she'd check, and then made loud and elaborate noises on her keypad which sounded a little staged, if I'm honest. She clicked and clacked for a bit, and then explained to me that these were the roaming costs, incurred on August but only now entered on to their system. I collapsed on to the floor.

I asked the lovely lady if she could click and clack a little bit more, because I obviously amn't on the tariff that most suits my phone usage, seeing as how my bill is quite, to say the least, excessive. The lovely lady at this point laughed. Reader, she actually laughed.

So I've changed tariff, and made a decision, then and there as a lay weeping in a fetal position on the floor of my kitchen, surrounded by concerned and elderly labradors, that I wouldn't use my mobile phone to such an excessive and expensive extent any more.

Then texted everyone I knew to tell them the lovely lady laughed at me. I'll never learn.

This entry was posted on 15 October 2004 at 8:28 pm. 0 comments

Dreadful Nonsense

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