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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Hello! It's Wednesday, and that's the middle of the week. That can obviously lead to only one conclusion: Today is the day to start talking about the cats. Today's Pet Of The Day is...

Anarchy!

Anarchy is called Anarchy because that is what my sister Edel was studying in college the day that she picked him up on the streets of Derry, thus saving him from being flattened by a giant lorry. He was a very tiny kitten at the time. He's not so tiny any more.

This is Anarchy being incredibly helpful while I was trying to study for my OU exam. [This, fact fans, is the computer room that used to be my childhood bedroom. I'm standing in the doorway taking this picture. This should give you some idea of how tiny this room is. What a tiny, tiny room. My parents are evil, leaving a teenage girl in such a tiny room. There was hardly any wall space for the NKOTB posters. But I digress.] Anarchy is always happy to be helpful when people are reading in our house. He spends most of Saturday moving from one person to another as we sit and read our supplements, rolling around on each section. He does not do this for attention, because if you try to pet him, he will try to rip your hand off with his back legs. We therefore don't know why he lies on every book or newspaper every opened in the house.


Long, long ago, our house was heated using oil. It is now heated using gas. This green tanker is the last symbol of those olden days when we used to heat with oil. This green tanker was supposed to be removed from our back garden about eight years ago. The green tanker was never taken away because - and this is the truth, honest to God - Anarchy spends long hours of the day, the hours not spent lying on newspapers and books, sitting on top of the green tanker and staring down his Enemies. Anarchy has a lot of Enemies. This is because he is a boy cat. A neutered boy cat, mark you, but a boy cat nonetheless, and boy cats have lots of Enemies at which they must spend many hours on top of green tankers staring.



We had a quick talk when my beautiful dog Honey was introduced about her weight, and the fact that the poor creature is overweight mainly because of her dislocated hip and inability to move comfortably. The important thing that I wished you all to note at the time was that her weight problem was not our fault, and she has in fact lost tons of weight since we got her, and is a lot happier and mobile now than when we first got her. The thing with Anarchy is, he's a lard arse, and it's all of our making, if we're honest. This photo is included just to give you an idea of his sheer girth. The cat is a fat one. He is known as - and answers to the name of - Fat Cat around our house.

This entry was posted on 20 October 2004 at 1:25 pm. 0 comments

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