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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Oh, you know what, it's too difficult setting yourself up for a nice running commentary and then having everything else thrown at you to do at a moment's notice. I mean, it's not like I've had up to seven months to prepare for this moment with no other responsibilities. I've had loads of things on. I've been rewatching Buffy and Angel from the respective starts of their series, and also trying to run it so that their overlapping episodes overlapped for me too. That's not an easy thing to pull off. Coupled with my increasing fixation for all things Dr Who, which is a pathetic enough cry for help in itself, and I don't see how you can expect me to hold down a job for a FULL WEEK as well as keep up with blogging. You lot are complete bastards.

Anyway... the day after tomorrow, or actually tomorrow by the clock here but two sleeps away, I'm going to Edinburgh for the fancy Fringe Festival that some of you may have heard of, and I'll not be back home until September time. Usually I'd be over some moons about this whole thing, cos I've been doing it since 1997, and am quite well practiced now, but this year it's kind of different.

For a start, I'm not working, so I'll be lazing about and not important at all - the first part of that I'm quite used to, the second part I'm finding difficult to adjust to. It's also the first Festival for four years where I've not been resident in Edinburgh, so I've not had the build up since June. This means that it hasn't really sunk in, even though the contents of my wardrobe and medicine cabinet are currently lying on my bed begging to be put in to a suitcase. Added to this year's anxiety is the fact of my back, which worries me no end. I do seem to harp on about it here, but don't really talk about it in real life, so I'm not sure people really understand how anxious this is all making me. I have managed to stockpile a quite obscene amount of valium though, so like some kind of twisted Swap Shop, you can all leave your offers in my comments section if you'd like to swap something of value for a dose of lovely valium bliss. At the Fringe, that kind of relaxation really only comes in tablet form.

This weekend was spent answering the question "How and to what extent does language make humans distinctive from other animals?" - a question I addressed in 67 words less than 1,500 words - and finishing off Comedy Lounge. Go look at it, and find the bits that I wrote. They should be easy to spot, full of vitriol, overly long run-on sentences and too many weak metaphors. We'll be updating the daily diary there, but I've decided I'm going to keep this up too, so I'll be reproducing what goes up there, but with more sarcasm, spite and possibly some libel just for the heck of it.

And I'm quite worried about leaving when Butler is sick. He's been looking and acting a bit more like himself this past week now that we've upped his painkillers to twice the dose he was previously on, but his epileptic fits have really suddenly increased. It's really horrible to walk in to a room and find him in the middle of a fit, but slightly worse to find him just after one, because you feel like you should have been in there with him the whole time. He doesn't go unconscious at any point during the fit, so it's a really terrifying experience for him, especially when you can't offer him any explanation. We also don't know how painful the fits must now be for him, with the added complication of the tumour in his right back leg. So I feel like a bit of an arse leaving for a month when he might not be here when I get back... but I've asked Mum not to make any decisions without asking me first. It was so awful when Sam died, but nice to be home to go through it all together. It's the one and only drawback to having pets. And it's difficult to explain to people that don't have pets, or don't make an attachment to their pets in the same manner.

Anyway. I've got work in the morning, then I have to keep going with this packing thing.

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