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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Did it! Can't quite believe it, but there we go.

Getting a tattoo, ladies and gentlemen, is not as difficult as you'd think it is. You see, I expected pain and suffering and really all that you get is some discomfort and stinging and occasional pain but really nothing at all like you'd expect. It's all a big myth passed around by mothers who hope that their children will never spoil the body that the good lord has given them by scrawling graffitti all over it.

Although I am very brave, so it might hurt normal people more than it hurt me.

I got it done at the small of my back, off to the left hand side, exactly where my trousers sit around my waist. Which, thinking about it, isn't a spectacular idea, because you can't have clothes rubbing off it cos that could make the lines uneven or knock bits off when the scabbing stage starts. Still though. It's nice.

I expected to be lying down, because I was getting it on my back, but I had to straddle the chair like what Christian Slater does in Cuckoo's Nest and lean forward while the lady drew on my back. I had to keep holding my breath because every time her hands got anywhere near the centre of my back, I would start to jump because I'm quite ticklish. I always hold my breath when I'm getting my hair cut too, because I can't stand people standing so close behind me. Anyway. The lady kept telling me to breathe, but I decided it would be best if I didn't. Susan sat on the other side of the room, possibly staring at me - I'm not sure, because I was staring at my hands and thinking "oh good lord, what am I doing?!"

Susan describes my facial expression thus - "Deep in concentration. Determined."

It's excellent though. Got home and texted most people I know, including all my siblings. Then phoned some people who have tattooes to ask them what I'm supposed to do now that it's been done, and have been given a lot of advice. I'm going to follow it all to the full.

Hurrah. If you see me around, do ask to see it. I'm incredibly proud.

It's starting to hurt now.

This entry was posted on 25 August 2004 at 4:17 pm. 0 comments

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