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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

When I started blogging, it took me ages to find other weblogs that I was interested in reading. The first few that I found, just surfing through the recently published list from the front page of blogger.com led me to believe that all bloggers were either 14 year old American school girls who had nothing better to talk about than their high school schedules and what they did at the weekends (never anything interesting) or 20 something gay Americans who had nothing better to talk about than their jobs and who they did at the weekends (never anyone interesting). But eventually I found some people who were great writers, and I found some people who I'd met in real life and thereafter go to stalk through cyber space. The best of the bunch of blogs that I read are listed on the right hand side here, but I read other ones I'm not about to link to because the people who write them have told me not to. And still others that I read that I don't link to because they're extra special top secret and maybe one day I'll tell you, and maybe one day I won't.

But. The only thing that I can see in common with all the blogs that I read is the fact that, if I was forced to make small talk with any single one of those people, I think I'd do quite well, because they seem to be nice, eloquent, intelligent people who have tolerable views and probably quite good control over body odour and don't have smelly breath. It's a leap of assumption, but that's the leap I'm making: everyone in the list on the right hand side brushes on a regular basis.

When you blog, you can project any old image you like at all. You can even be completely fictional. I have known of a certain lady (Mrs D) who has expressed a certain interest in a certain gentleman, purely because of the content of his blog. I had to put her right, of course, since that gentleman, although being a wonderful and indeed gentle man, is also a bit of a lady killer (not literally) and a bad drunk. But naturally in his blog, he comes across as the most eligible bachelor in all of christendom.

The blog, if you like, could well be the dating agency of the early 21st century cliche, a thought I'm sure Carrie Bradshaw would have come around to typing into her product placed laptap while sucking on a fake ciggie in her underwear if she'd not been so cruelly taken off our television screens due to SJP become so damn old looking it was unfair to keep her on television due to the nightmares she was inflicting on all the innocent children.

So what I don't get right now is how I've gone from liking a person quite a bit to HATING THEM WITH EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING purely because of persona they're projecting through their newly formed weblog.

This person is right now in a position where he or she could take to bed with every man, woman and even adult consenting pet in the country, due to frequent media exposure and not inconsiderable good looks. And yet this opportunity is being squandered on a daily basis by exposing more and more every day his or her complete inability to FORM A COHERENT SENTENCE or STICK TO A FREAKING TOPIC ALREADY or even HOLD AN OPINION OF ANY KIND OF VALUE OR WORTH. It's making me angry - why would you deliberately sabotage your chances of endless sex, money and general adoration by writing like a completely fuckwit on your own website, forum and weblog? The mind boggles.

This entry was posted on 27 June 2004 at 11:21 pm. 0 comments

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