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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

I have a tiny confession to make. It's really tiny, no big deal, but seriously, let's just keep it between me and you for now, because, I don't know, these things have a habit of getting out, and then there's hysteria and reprimanding and things get said that don't need to be said and then there's the crying... So, just between me and you, then. Thing is, I think I may well be failing my stupid OU psychology course.

This revelation came to me about a month ago, when I failed to hand in my essay. I not only failed to hand it in, I by no uncertain terms danced about wearing a sign that read "I'm not handing in my essay!" and was accompanied by backing singers and a marching band that kept time with my dancing, along with the cheerleaders who spelled out N-O E-S-S-A-Y over and over again so that my tutor couldn't help but notice that no essay was being handed in.

But that's okay! You can get away with not handing in one essay on any given OU course, because they allow you to substitute one score out of the 7 things you have to submit, so usually the lowest score is taken away, and your final mark is the average of all the scores left. This score, of course, is now 0 thanks to the no essay angle I decided to take. But that's okay. It'll be taken away and discounted, unmourned and unremembered.

The really perverse thing in all of this is the fact that I did actually write an essay and everything. I did! It's here! Imagine going to all that trouble - I wrote a sentence that goes "He suggested that people with introverted personalities are chronically over-aroused, and so behave in a way that reduce their arousal level, and that extroverted personalities are chronically under-aroused and compensate by seeking out more stimulation", and I understood what that mean! And I didn't submit it on time - I in fact didn't submit it AT ALL - shooting myself in the foot and wasting all those hours I spent slaving over a hot (at one point, completely overheated) lap top. For what? For nothing!

Today, I am carrying out psychological experiments on my friends D and Mrs D, because they are kind enough to agree to it. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to process the results, put them in bar chart form, work out the probability value and statistical significance, write the whole thing up as a proper experiment (noting, of course, whether it is a one-tailed or two-tailed hypothesis) and have it all in the post on Saturday morning. What am I doing instead? I'm writing this! THIS! THIS LOAD OF RUBBISH!

I have lost all respect for myself.

This entry was posted on 27 May 2004 at 1:27 pm. 0 comments

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