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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Sunday night: comedy night in Galway. In Bar Cuba, if you ever want to attend. We attended tonight. We advise that you're probably best not to bother. Not, at least, if Gerry Mallon is in attendance.

Goodness me. Where to begin?

We thought it would be a great and good thing to enter the joke competition to win some prizes, and to do this we thought it would be great to do it with some quality entries. To that avail, we texted some comedian friends of ours, who write jokes for a living and therefore should be good at things like that. The joke that we were to write a punch line to run thusly:

"What's the difference between a suicide bomber and a heavy drinker?"

We got some stunning entries from our comedian friends, and out of a selection submitted four of what we considered to be the best ones. We wrote clearly and concisely, and put our lovely names at the end. Then we sat through one of the worst nights of comedy I've been lucky enough to witness in Ireland, not least because through the night compere Mallon got more and more drunk and reckless and rubbish.

By the time the joke competition final rolled around it was all we had left to live for. And then the bad man Mallon did the worst thing he could do - he stood on our punchlines. He stood on them four times. He pre-empted. He mis-read. He misunderstood, misinterpreted and simply did not read them out properly. Thusly, the audience were cheated out of our fabulous prize winning jokes (they were our jokes. We commissioned them and we made it clear to the comedians that they would not be receiving a whiff of the prize. Our comedian friends agreed to these conditions. Therefore, I repeat, they were our jokes). And we were cheated out of our fabulous prizes.

Mallon is a bad man. Boycott his club for this reason, if no other.

Many thanks.

This entry was posted on 07 March 2004 at 11:47 pm. 0 comments

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