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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Mouse News:
Mum and Dad are back, and one of the first things that concerned them (rightly enough) was the fact that there were mice all over the place. As I'd been telling them. Continually. I think they assumed I was exaggerating the sheer scale of the mouse problem, which obviously I was, but still. Statistically, apparently, if you see one mouse, there are 24 other mice that are unseen very near to you. So, since I had seen three mice (dead baby mouse, Air Vent mouse, Sitting Room mouse) there must have been at least 72 other mouse sitting in the walls and laughing.

Mum bought mouse traps, put them under the sink, and in the time between 2pm, when the traps were set, and now, five young mice have gone to early graves - and by "graves" I mean "our wheely bin" - caught by the temptation of evil peanuts. I take no glee from this at all, but mice ick me out and I'd like them to go, go far away, leave and never return. And since the Pied Piper took to stealing children (except the lame and disabled) rather than charming away mice, there's nothing more we can do than freak them out by breaking the necks of their friends and relatives and hope that they go find someone else's house to scurry around in.

This entry was posted on 16 February 2004 at 11:32 pm. 0 comments

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