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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

friday five

1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?

I've only got my blog address at the bottom of my blog email account, my other two email accounts also shout about the glory of Comedy Lounge and I think may well still hold some quotes from GUD. This is such a boring question.

2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven't graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be?
I don't know what that means, but in my yearbook at school (I went to a posh, private, protestant secondard school because I am posh and private (but not protestant), at least by the values of the greater Dublin area. But anyone who ever dares to say that to my face will get slapped good and hard) I was voted "Most Likely To Win The Eurovision Song Contest" by everyone else in my year. This is because they didn't know me very well, and perhaps thought I was quite like Dana. Which I'm not and anyone who says I am will get slapped good and hard.

3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?
I don't have a car, so I don't have vanity plates. I don't know what vanity plates are, but I suspect that if I did have a car, and I did know what they were, I wouldn't have any. Are these like "I Do Not Have An Other Car" and "Rock Climbers Do It With Their Penis"? I don't know.

4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say?
No. That's quite sad, isn't it? Although all I ever ask for are puppies or DVDs, so if anyone tried to engrave anything on them they'd ruin their value and potentially be arrested. I once got a necklace with Ernie from Sesami Street on it that said "S is for Sharon". I still have that necklace and wear it proudly. Yesterday, I bought a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet.

5. What would you like your epitaph to be?
Something really heart wrenching, and associated with an everyday household object, so that every time anyone who has read my epitaph thereafter looks at this household object, they are reminded of me and my untimely but painless death (although I did live to a very old age, I seemed to still have so much to give to the world) that they break down and weep at the pity of it all.

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