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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

1. What food do you like that most people hate?
I love Marmite on toast, and I used to be one of those people that hated it too. Then my friend had a baby and her baby liked marmite on toast, and I was forced to try it one morning, and actually it’s really nice. And I’m the only person in any of the houses I’ve lived in that has liked it, so it’s mine, all mine and no one else can have it. Ha.

I also only like most food if it’s bordering on being burnt. Everything has to be incredibly well done. The measure for when my food is cooked is that the fire alarm has been going off for about 5 minutes and you can’t see the grill any more for the cloud of thick, black smoke.

2. What food do you hate that most people love?
Anything with eggs, where the eggs are still even just slightly egg like. Or even a hit of egg. Or if an egg has been placed beside it, even if there is no egg in the meal. Or if it looks a bit like an egg. Or if the word “egg” is written somewhere nearby. Also mushrooms are appalling. It’s the greasy texture that kills me, I don’t mind the taste of mushrooms but to have one near me makes me want to run away. And finally, even the sight of someone drinking a glass of milk gives me an actual physical urge to vomit. Therefore my siblings use this as a form of torture.

3. What famous person, whom many people may find attractive, is most unappealing to you?
Probably Tom Cruise, but glancing through other Friday Fives this is a common answer, so maybe he’s not as attractive as everyone is told he is. I find most American actors unappealing, so you can keep your Brad Pitts or your… um… no one is coming to mind, actually. You can keep them all, then. Generally, if they’re considered a heart throb, I find them completely unattractive. The exception to this rule is Colin Farrell but I think his appeal to me has a lot to do with the fact that he’s Irish and I am genetically programmed to find him attractive.

4. What famous person, whom many people may find unappealing, do you find
attractive?

Oh, everyone anyone has ever said isn’t attractive. In Buffy the early years, I loved Xander when you were supposed to love Angel. I loved David in Roseanne when you were supposed to love Mark, but then switched to loving Doyle in Angel when you were still supposed to be loving Angel. I had such a huge crush on Paul Merton for years, I still have a crush on Mike Mills from REM, and don’t mind admitting to absolutely adoring Philip Seymour Hoffman in an entirely inappropriate manner.

5. What popular trend baffles you?
Most things, until they’re pushed down my throat for so long I start to like them, and then they go away. The sweat band thing still worries me. And actually anything that is remotely like anything first worn in the 1980s sends me to giddy distraction and the need for a brandy. So I can never watch Girls Aloud, for a start. Which is good.

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