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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Somebody sent me this today, with the words "You'll like this, Sharon". He was right. It's the David Blaine Assasination Game.

Some computers arrived in boxes at work today, but they remained in boxes throughout the day. They were still in boxes when I left this evening. They may remain in boxes for the next 12 working days - the amount of time I've got left in the office. Or someone might pull their finger out and actually set it up for me, so I can do something other than playing Bantumi on my mobile phone to distract myself. I'm getting bloody good at that game though. Even with 5 beans in each bowl.

Today at work, some men came in and unblocked the chimney in our room, seemingly by pushing something down it until everything blocking it up fell down the shaft into the basement. There was a lot of rumbling, then some crashing, then some billowing of soot out across our office, and then the sound of coughing. The men seemed to be happy with that.

They then left for half an hour and returned with a big bundle of pink fluff which was apparently for lagging the chimney. The man in the blue overalls shoved that up the chimney, stuck his head in, looked up, and decided that was the chimney lagged sufficiently.

Then two more men came in and stuck some tape around the chimney place, and they all decided that was the chimney sealed sufficiently. Someone else connected a piece of silver piping to a very old looking gas heater, and they declared the whole event triumphant. They left behind a thin layer of dirt covering every single thing in our office.

And a gas leak.

We didn't notice the gas leak for half an hour, because none of us left the room, and no one else came in. When Kerri left and came back, though, she was slightly concerned by the whiff. Me and Pam couldn't smell anything, but that's because we both smoke and therefore have no sense of taste, smell or responsibility. But when I went out and came back in, there was a definite whiff.

We all decided that heat was more important than breathing fresh air - we're in Scotland for goodness sake, it gets chilly here - and didn't say anything, but people began to notice. And we also began to get a little giddy with the fumes.

So windows have been opened, the door has been propped, and another man is coming tomorrow to look at everything. Fingers crossed not any one of the same group that came today. Although I think they may well be busy rounding up cattle tomorrow, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

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