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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson


Today I had a very important job, and I paid lots of attention and was very careful and I did very well with my job. My job today was looking after my cousin's goldfish, Junior, while she was moving house. One of my jobs was to take Junior out of his fish tank and put him in to a plastic bag, and another one of my jobs was to wash out his fish tank while he was swimming in the plastic bag, and then another one of my jobs was finding a different bowl to put him and the plastic bag in when the plastic bag started to leak, and then another one of my jobs was to carry Junior in the bowl and the plastic bag down four flights of stairs without spilling a drop of water or a fish, and another one of my jobs was to hold on to Junior in the van while we drove from my cousin's old flat to the new flat, but my cousin said that I might not be very good at that job so she did that job instead and then another one of my jobs was to carry the bowl and Junior and all the water up the stairs to my cousin's new flat, and then another one of my jobs was to put together his tank in his new house and to make sure that the water wasn't too cold and another one of my jobs was to add drops in to the water so that they wouldn't poison Junior and then my last job was to put Junior back in to the tank when he was still in the plastic bag and then I did and I did all my jobs very well, and Junior didn't die, and I didn't kill him.

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