Eight days and counting until I finish my job, and I am so looking forward to it now. Following a brief episode of Quitter’s Regret on the Friday night, I have been facing forward and never looking back, and it’s all a big party in my head every time I think about the fact that I don’t have to come back in here. However, that’s not allowed me to escape from the every day stress of the damn place – this morning, I came so close to smacking someone round the face, and it’s really not like me. I like to channel my violent rages, and just discuss them in email form with friends who are at a safe distance. But this morning! Oh my lord! It was only 10.30am, and I had already used up my rage quotient for the day.
One of my friends has suggested that perhaps I might possibly have a little problem dealing with what is referred to in the business world (and indeed the rest of the world) as “authority”. I have no problem with it at all, I replied, I just don’t respect it, and don’t want to deal with it. Dammit, I’m a maverick, destined to work and play alone. I, for one, am the definition of the antonym of a team player. I’m a loose cannon.
And then yesterday at one of the recruitment agency interviews, I sat there with a great big fake smile plastered right across my great big fakely sincere face, and told a handful of lies in order that they will do their best to go out and find me another soulless job in another airless office surrounded by more city-shuffle freaks.
Last night I sat in the dark at the back of the room at The Stand and entertained myself by writing mini-reviews of all the acts that were on stage, while also writing a great big review of You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers for my mother, who is supposed to be reviewing it on Today FM tomorrow. I’ve got to learn to channel my rage through some medium other than sarcasm.