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Dreadful Nonsense

"I've read your blog. it's really funny. you should write a column." - Jon Ronson

Friday Five

1. What was the last TV show you watched?

That was Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 5, episode 15. I can be that specific because I had just watched episodes 13 and 14 before it. I bought the box set, you see, and because I couldn't afford to, I decided that it was best I tried to watch it all at once, in an attempt to pretend that it was worth going without food for the last week before pay day.

I'm quitting my job today, people. I'm waiting for my boss to come out of meetings so that I can tell her that I'm quitting, but I've told a lot of other people before her, and now you, the collective crazys that read this, know before she does. I'm getting quite nervous, I can tell you.

2. What was the last thing you complained about and what was the problem?

The last time I made a specific, registered, proper complaint was when the train I was on broke down for three hours in darkness in the middle of nowhere with no air conditioning or lights or toilets and no information about how long it would be broken down. I wrote a three page letter (the days at work have to be filled somehow) and I got my ticket price back, but no extra compensation for the psychological damage it caused.

She's not going to be out of meetings until 12.30 today at the earliest. I want to go down and tell the HR department at least, because that would give me more satisfaction, but I think she should probably be told first. I've written a letter, and would like to just leave it on her seat, but then as my friend pointed out, I wouldn't know if she'd read it or not.

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?

I have no idea, I'm not a big complimentor. I probably said something about somebody's shoes. Or if I noticed that someone had something new, I'd compliment that, even if I didn't like it. I don't have to be sincere all the time, do I?

I just heard her voice in the corridor. I think she might be between meetings. Eek. I should probably run and do it now and get it over with, but suddenly I'm covered in a cold sweat. Why is this making me nervous? It's not like I haven't done it before.

4. What was the last thing you threw away?

Clothes. Sack loads of clothes, all sitting in black bags in our hallway waiting to be taken to a charity shop and into a new life. I have tons and tons of clothes that I don't wear, and no room in my wardrobe for the other clothes that I also don't wear, but still want to keep, so I decided a cull was in order.

She's just gone into her office. She's got coffee. I must just dive in and do it. Do it now.

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?

Ananova or Chortle, I think. Could have been Television Without Pity either, actually. Or a whole list of them. I just blindly follow my favourites round and don't really concentrate on what I'm doing. Such is the way of my life.

I chickened out, incidentally. Went in all guns blazing (not literally) and left with the same letter in my hand, because she looks all frazzled and I don't think it'll help much if her secretary quits just before she goes into a day's worth of meetings. So I'm going to leave it for a couple of hours and do it before lunchtime, when she's got just as little time, but slightly less pressing meetings. This is pathetic, isn't it?


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