Dreadful Nonsense

Friday Five

1. How many TVs do you have in your home?
We have two TVs in our flat, one in my bedroom that doesn't pick up a signal, and one in the sitting room that does. But at the moment we've only got five channels, and only three of them are worth watching.

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
I really would rather not think about that... oh, okay then. The TV is usually on in the house from 6pm until whenever the last one of us goes to bed. That doesn't necessarily mean that anyone is watching it though. We are great believers in background noise, me and my sister. We also began life in our flat leaving the television on during the day, as company for the dog, because one of the dog books suggested it, and we felt guilty enough about leaving her on her own. But then we decided that it would probably drive her mad.
But that hasn't answered the question. Probably... anything up to 30 hours a week. At the moment, an awful lot less than that, but in previous times I've watched an awful lot more. I like the fact that while it's on, your brain switches off. That's what I use TV for.

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
Not particularly. What is bad for young children is their parents dumping them in front of the television, rather than making the effort themselves to interact, educate or entertain their children. A bad workman should not blame his tools. And a little of what you like does you no harm. And probably another cliche, if I could think of one more.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken?
I've kicked myself in the past for missing shows, but have gotten over it quite quickly, what with there being video releases for almost everything on the planet, and digital channels showing everything else. The last shows where I absolutely *had* to be in the house when it was on, and couldn't trust anyone else to tape them for me, would probably have been This Morning With Richard Not Judy. I love Buffy, and I love ER, but it wouldn't kill me to miss an episode.

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
My TV line up would look quite like a cross between Play UK, E4 and the Performance Channel, with some BBC4 thrown in for when I was feeling like I needed to be educated. I'd recommission Stewart Lee and Richard Herring to work together again. I'd make sure Simon Munnery was also back on telly. I'd make some more film versions of Tom Stoppard plays. Anything that Peter Seraphinowitcz or Peter Baynham wrote or appeared in would automatically get on air. Nothing American would be broadcast, other than Buffy, ER and West Wing re-runs (I do love a good snappy riposte). There would be no reality TV, fly on the wall or music programmes. I would show the entire runs of The High Life, The Mary Whitehouse Experience and Viva Cabaret back to back, and also everything Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie have ever made. The Goodies would be on twice a day.

I seem to have created a channel of repeats. That was unintentional.

This entry was posted on 18 October 2002 at 12:43 pm. 0 comments

Dreadful Nonsense

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